elder baron

yesterday

i was having a

v e r y

bad day.

very.

the climax of a

very bad streak actually.

an email from a friend today helped me see things a little better.

coming from my dear jeffrey who is living in ghana, africa

and has been for the last year and a half (on his mish)

he reminds me:

(this is after listening to my pathetic perspective and current mood, he has been one of the

few in my life that i tell EVERYTHING to...believe me, there are very few and none of which live anywhere close to me)

brief pause for foto:

me & jeff have shared a lot.

even though i feel i've been a crap-ball to him lately,

he's always a good egg.

and a blessing in my life in so many ways.

ok, so

his words:

"...things can really freakin suck sometimes..(yes, you can already tell this is jeff talking)..even a lot of the time. but look what things are really great in your life right now. you have your parents there to give hugs to whenever you want. you have food....real food. you might not appreciate that one like i do, but, OHH, you have real food. tuna fish sandwich. hamburger. steak. pizza. pasta. anything. that stuff makes me happy when ive got it. dont take it for granted. youve got a job. a steady source of income. income that allows you to progress. to buy new things. clothes. music. gifts. schooling. gas. that provides steadiness and sanity, a source of income. you're in school, it might not be easy and quite stressful....but its progression. its making yourself a better, smarter person. an investment. you're healthy. at least to my knowledge, you're not dying...in fact you're quite busy. and so many other things. even, in may, you will have the temple right there. so that you can practically live in it.

(side note: i had joked that i wish i lived in the temple just so i could have peace in my every day) 

basically, you have so so SO much to be happy about whit. too much. its okay to feel bad about things and be overcome by stress. but try and let it pass and remember how much youve been blessed. you might not have everything, but you've got a lot more than most. you have love all around you. you even have kevin. that is reason alone to be happy and stay happy.

i understand where you're coming from and a touch of what your going thru, so these words might not mean much, and im sorry. its all i can do really. "happiness is the object and design of our existence" and if we're not happy, then we need to change and try to be..."

 

there was more in the email than that.

i only selected an excerpt.

i'm blessed with this friendship.

and i really appreciate his reminder.

especially when i think of him being in africa

and all the people he must see that have MUCH less than me.

or most of us.

not even a tuna fish sandwich!

( i love tuna )

or parents.

we often take so much for granted.

i feel selfish.

yet grateful.

i should be happier than i feel.

thankyou, elder baron. 

p.s. - jeff likes to say "fake it to make it" - but my operation "make me happy" is already in sway...

kind of.

changes will be made.  

less me, more you

be the difference you wish to see in the world.

this touched me.

some of my favorite words to live by:

"if you judge people you don't have time to love them"

-mother theresa-

i was always taught that when i thought my life was hard.

if i was discouraged or depressed.

weighed down with problems

then i should do something for someone else.

without fail

everytime

it works.
i feel better and happy
:)

i am a strong believer that when this life is lived for others,

that is when we are TRULY happy

and life feels fulfilled.

you are often the answer to someone else's prayer.

when was the last time you thought of others' needs

instead of your own?

growing up in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints,

i've learned the gospel of Jesus Christ

and that LIVING IT is what this life is all about.

it's one thing to believe something...it's another it actually live it.

it's about L O V E

and us living and loving as our Savior would.

ask yourself this every day:

have i done any good in the world today?

have i helped anyone in need?

have i cheered up the sad?

or made someone feel glad?

if not,

 i have failed in deed.

-Will L. Thompson LDS Hymnbook-

LOL = Lots Of Love

                                                      i feel it.

"LOVE DOESN'T MAKE THE WORLD GO ROUND, LOVE IS WHAT MAKES THE RIDE WORTHWHILE"

-ELIZABETH BROWNING-

SINGLE OR NOT,

WITH OR WITHOUT A VALENTINE

LOVE IS ALWAYS IN SEASON

(please don't be the pathetic wallower that complains about being ALONE on such a holiday...get over yourself!! there's no worse company than someone who complains. love does not always constitute romance. in spanish they call it the "Day of Love and Friendship". it entails SO MUCH: love!)

YOU GOTTA GIVE A LITTLE TO GET A LITTLE

DON'T BE THE VALENTINE GRINCH - FIND THE REASON FOR THE SEASON

and even YOUR heart can grow two sizes too big!

happy valentine's day.



ps: my happy place is preparing to file for bankruptcy...i hate technology for taking Borders away from me.
read more about it here

walk the walk

purple skies.

hazel lights.

fireflies.

new horizons.

in the spring,

gray turns green.

hope once dead

is

brought to life.

shady tree.

shoes in hand,

with my bare feet in the sand.

spanish poems.

skipping stones.

the dusty road then takes me home.

people have told me

how to be happy

but i find

their remedy's e m p t y

these are my pearls,

God's treasures unfurled

mean more to this girl

more than

the world

to me.

photographs

from the past.

summer naptime

in the grass.

constellations in the sky

the northern lights will make you cry

grant me twenty thousand wishes.

cover me with lavish things.

but i believe in loaves and fishes

m i r a c l e s

and mustard seeds.

people have told me

how to be happy

but i find

their road

is empty

these are my pearls

God's treasure unfurled

me more to

this girl

more than

the world

to me.

when you know something.

you feel it

believe it

KNOW it,

.

.

.

then live it.

too many people these days give in

waver

follow the crowd

it's easier to always try and fit in.

i will stand

i will not fall

in a world that's weak

i will be strong

i'll be true

i will choose His way

i know what's right

and i will not change

in a world where so many will not

...i will.

2.4.2011

joshua radin love

he's even better live than on his cds

i love this song of his:

another:

my latest obsession

miss anya marina

i could listen to her voice all day

i saw her live last night @ center stage.

incredible.

only the curious have something to find...

everybody has their "happy" songs on their playlist.

you know, the ones that when they come on, it puts you in a good mood?

this has always been one of mine...

and i want to share it with you...

"THIS SIDE"

by Nickel Creek

"you dream of colors that have never been made,

you imagine in songs that have never been played..."

my playlist is always full of Nickel Creek.

i lovelovelove them.

i wanted to cry when they broke up.

...chris thile, their mandolinist, wanted to go solo.

(he has some great solo stuff, btw)

but i miss Nickel Creek.

this is my tribute to them...

some of my favorite songs of theirs

.

.

.

"where can a dead man go? a question with an answer only dead men know.

but i'm gonna bet they never really feel at home

if they spend their lifetime learning how to live in rome..."

"when you're soaring through the air, i'll be your solid ground.

take every chance you dare, i'll still be there,

when you come back down...

angel, you were born to fly.

and if you get too high,

i'll catch you when you fall..."

When You Come Back Down @ Yahoo! Video

"you're staring the stars, jealous of the moon...you wish you could fly..."

there's no video for it,

but their song, "Hanging By A Thread"

it hits home for me every time.

anyway,

Nickel Creek.

amen.

how my mind works...

after much contemplation, it has been decided:


everyone at some point in their life has been asked the question,
"if you could have any super power, what would it be?!"
common answers:
 - flying (...sure, that'd be cool)
- breath under water (....meh)
- shapeshift (...sweet, but you'd be nothing but a liar)
- read people's minds (...creep)
- go back in time (...you're not God, ok)


i think the most rad thing EVER....
would be
the power to never need sleep.
am i wrong?
think of the possibilities!!!!
and of how that would change your life and what you could accomplish.
there are no down sides to this.
never getting tired.
iLOVEit


FACT: by the time we're 75 years old, averaging 7 hours of sleep a day,
we will have wasted 22 years of our lives SLEEPING!!!!!


i've gone through my times of avoiding sleep,
without fail, i make myself sick
then i spend a couple days in bed making up for the sleep i tried to avoid
it's no use.
so i've grown fond of my naps and plenty of rest.
it'd be great if my brain and body functioned without any of that though.




the next topic on my mind...

when things stay the same for too long or just don't agree with my emotions

i get antsy and frustrated and can't handle it

so i seek ways to remedy the situation.

i'll start by analyzing my goals and progress to make myself feel better and accomplished.
with the new year, i established many goals.
one being budgeting better/saving...
yet i find myself to be a therapeutic shopper, so my bad day or frustration justifies a new cardigan (which i will totally wear all the time)
or
$100 worth of oil paints.
they were on sale though! (30% off @ Hobby Lobby. deal.)
ok, the cardigan i didn't NEED
but considering another goal i have is to use the dozen blank canvases stored
under my bed and in my closet,
$100 out of my savings is ok, ......right???

usually then, to clear my head, i'll go to Borders or Barnes n Noble for a couple hours
and peruse the books.
it works well for me
but i ended up leaving with another purchase,
BlueCanvas.
it's a really rad art magazine and the new issue was out, i couldn't help it.

to complete my streak of impulsive behavior
which happens about once a month, do the math...
i ended up @ Paul Mitchell hair salon and came out a redhead.

  change is good.
it's refreshing.
and for me, therapeutic.
even if it is my hair color.
pathetic, yes.
don't judge me.

my weekly reminder: don't feel sorry for yourself. no matter how bad your situation,
things could ALWAYS get worse.
i was watching Ever After, and that quote hit home to me.

youtellme:
is it better to be born without sight, or go blind later in life?
is it better to have your heart broken, or to never have loved?
is ignorance really bliss?

...your thoughts would be greatly appreciated...

one of my favorite things...

i like to read.

a lot.

i was the quiet little girl that always had her nose stuck in a book

and i liked reading out loud to my mom and grandparents

and telling stories.

Roald Dahl was my childhood favorite. i collected his books.

The BFG was the B E S T!

anytime kevin hears that i'm reading, he jokes with me that i must be bored.

i explain to him that reading for me is like soccer to him.

iLOVEit!

.

i look forward to it.

.

it makes me happy.

...anyway...

last night i finished my latest book infatuation.

ok, maybe not infatuation,

but i really enjoyed them.

i was skeptical at first...i never thought i was into that fantasy stuff

i mean, other than the Twighlight series and Interview with a Vampire. i read those.

oh...let's not forget Harry Potter...the ones i read, i loved.

i also enjoyed The Hobbit back in middle school.

come to think of it, i guess i do like fantasy...haha.

i'm such a nerd!

whatever.

 this series...is about demon slayers.

ha! yes.

don't judge me.

they pull you in!

over the course of 2 weeks i read all three.

the fourth will be out in april.

 go figure...they're currently casting for the movies i found out.

i like reading the books before i see the movies,

so at least i'm ahead of the game.

though i'm still waiting for my Hunger Games movies to come out too.

i'll add these to my list.

i would like to thank wil for suggesting i read these.

if anyone else has a good read in mind...

i'm always taking recommendations.

if you are looking for something to read...

my favorite:

i also love...

 *Jane Eyre*

*The Essential Writings of Ralph Waldo Emerson*

*Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close*

*Into the Wild*

*Man's Search for Meaning* (gives you perspective on life)

tomorrow...

my lil niece, Zia, will have eye surgery...

she's not in glasses anymore right now

hopefully all goes well with her operation and her lil eyes will be fixed.

she's in our prayers...

 

1.17.2011

theBiGfive Personality Test

(click to go to test)

What aspects of personality does this tell me about?

There has been much research on how people describe others, and five major dimensions of human personality have been found. They are often referred to as the OCEAN model of personality, because of the acronym from the names of the five dimensions. 

Openness to Experience/Intellect

Conscientiousness

Extraversion

Agreeableness

Neuroticism

my results:

Openness to Experience/Intellect

High scorers tend to be original, creative, curious, complex; Low scorers tend to be conventional, down to earth, narrow interests, uncreative.

You enjoy having novel experiences and seeing things in new ways. 

(Your percentile: 80)

Conscientiousness

High scorers tend to be reliable, well-organized, self-disciplined, careful; Low scorers tend to be disorganized, undependable, negligent.

You are neither organized or disorganized.  

(Your percentile: 46)

Extraversion

High scorers tend to be sociable, friendly, fun loving, talkative; Low scorers tend to be introverted, reserved, inhibited, quiet.

You are neither particularly social or reserved.

(Your percentile: 42)

Agreeableness

High scorers tend to be good natured, sympathetic, forgiving, courteous; Low scorers tend to be critical, rude, harsh, callous.

You tend to consider the feelings of others.

(Your percentile: 79)

Neuroticism

High scorers tend to be nervous, high-strung, insecure, worrying; Low scorers tend to be calm, relaxed, secure, hardy.

You are generally relaxed. 

(Your percentile: 22)

i was bored, ok?

guess i should try being more organized.

and now i see i'm not completely a hermit...but i'm not a social butterfly either.

and i'm content with that. 

you learn something new everyday...

today i learned

-that 45% of what humans do everyday is habitual routine

-Americans spent $650 million dollars last year buying Febreze. wow. what a waste of money.

i've also decided that from now on kevin and i will only communicate in english.

it's going to be weird considering up until now our whole relationship has been in spanish.

but i feel it's a wise decision.

he's not going to like it very much, but whatever.

side note: Longhorn's has theBEST baby back ribs...fall-off-the-bone-goodness

and their half-rack is enough to feed a family! or maybe my waiter was just generous?

fact: when i was 7, i could down more ribs than my dad.

 

WiNTER 2011

January 2011

here's to the new year that brought...

snow

and

ice

.

.

.

it's a pretty view.

i love to see the snow clumped on the green pines.

however this ice has kept me stuck at home.

i can't even go to Border's to get a new book to read and enjoy during this weather.

the roads won't permit it.

though i won't lie...this storm had ideal timing.

i've been off-and-on sick since new years.

canceled work for two days = PERFECT

because i've spent my time in bed.

achy and with a fever.

though today i had an appetite to eat a small bowl of chicken dumpling soup.

so far it has settled

and there has been no urgent runs to the bathroom

:)

maybe we'll be back at work tomorrow.

i think so.

the ice is starting to slush up some.

it was SO not fun trying to de-snow and de-ice my car.

i had to put a pick-axe to it first to crack the top layer of ice.

all my utah friends are probably laughing at this right now.

i'm sorry, here in the south we don't DEAL with this much.

6 inches of snow and the whole dagum state shuts down!

true story.

*happy winter*

other news..

manda and braden had their reception...

...it was lovely...

and ryan caught amanda's bouquet...

you know what THAT means...

...too bad i did not document the stellar dance-after-party.

one week of my online/night classes down...

and i'm on top of the game!

go me!

don't laugh...it's been 2 years since i did any schooling

and i've never done online classes.

it can be a scary thing.

especially while working fulltime

and trying to fulfill a new years resolution of "being more social"

ha

i also like my personal time, thank you.

Kevin took his English test today

...pray all went well...

the poor kid was so nervous

...a lot hangs on how well he does.

so this is the new year....

shaun, jake, nate and i went to downtown atlanta to watch the PEACHdrop!

we enjoyed our first hour of the new year on a downtown rooftop

i was sick and doped up on meds,
but we all agree that so far....2011 is the BEST YEAR EVER!

now...reviewing my past year

i've decided to post

the

*whitneylaurentutt2010BESTOF*

now...remember...i spent the first half of my year in puerto rico

and barbados - in a different life/world

and really NOT in the loop of anything going on

so my best of....is just that

MINE.

best book

in this case...series...

i couldn't put them down.

maybe i'm mainstream.

but i can't wait for the movies!

'nuff said.

top 2010 new albums WORTH my listening to

LCD Soundsystem

This Is Happening

and

Arcade Fire

The Suburbs

other noteworthy albums of the year:

She & Him: Volume Two

(Zooey Deschanel & M. Ward...if you didn't know, CLICK ME and know)

Vampire Weekend: Contra

 Camila: Dejarte de Amar

Aventura: the Last                     Gotan Project: Tango3.0

Sufjan Stevens: The Age of Adz

**MOVIES**

for me

my 2010

F A V O R I T E

for best all around

great cast.

classy.

intense.

intelligent.

made me want to see it AGAIN...

i loved it.

i'm not a movie-goer every weekend.

mainly because it's so dagum expensive these days.

but i also enjoyed these from the year...

...i cried more than i wanted...it had an unexpected ending.

i love my comic book movies!

and i am a scarlett johansson fan.

her and angelina jolie are my chick faves.

yes, i am a fan!

loved the books.

&

watch the movies.

i thought this was the cutest warm fuzzy girly movie!

HARRY POTTER 7 would probably be up here, but i still haven't seen it.

lame, i know!

and honestly, i can't even remember all the movies i saw this year to make this list.

2010 was a great year for me.

remembering great moments...

...my family i left in puerto rico

...my last day on the mish in puerto rico

coming home to see my family after 18 months...

my sister, Tamaron, got married in the Mesa, AZ temple

i went to Colombia to visit mi amorcito

and meet his family...

fast forward a bit...

the year ended great...

my whole family together for Christmas.

and a reunion of friends...

...happy times had by all.

i'm still compiling my "hopes and dreams for the future"/goals list for 2011...

as of now...

• budget better...save up/buy a car
• and a new digital SLR
• speak slower (when i talk to people @ work on the phone, many tell me i talk too fast..ha..i'm working on it!)
• be more social...you may laugh, but it's true. if you know me, you know what i'm talking about
• continue my education: get back to school/get good grades... and read more
• move west when kevin gets stateside and be :) con el amor de mi vida
• BODA!
• not so much lose weight...but get in shape..more exercise regularly!
• practice piano more
• get some paintings done
• put my art to good use...get some $$ out of it
• manage my time better - don't procrastinate as bad :)
• notice needs of others more - quit living so selfishly
• don't complain
• go back to Puerto Rico to visit
• improve guitar skills

...my list is growing on the daily...

dream big, right?!

HAPPYNEWYEAR!