my job:
"Bynum and Sons Plumbing, authorized provider for Home Depot, this is Whitney, how may I help you?"

the first customer i spoke to today had a water heater installed the day before
and it was already leaking out the top.
out the top means it's defective and needs to be replaced. (usually)
ok, not a problem, i switched things around on the day's busy schedule
so that we could make it to her home today.
i told her the available appointment time would be between 3-6pm.
do you know what she told me?...
"3 to 6??? This is RIDICULOUS! I don't have HOT WATER! 3-6 is the SOONEST?!
I cannot SHOWER...I cannot do my DISHES!!! This is an E-MER-GEN-CY. Do you understand? I mean, COME ON."

wow. really?
people are SO ungrateful.
last i checked, hot water is not a requirement to shower or wash dishes.
water, yes. HOTwater, no.
i wanted to shut ALL her water off because of her attitude.

 i hear these things daily though.
people completely LIVID because we can't fit them in on the spot for
a garbage disposal replacement.
i guess i can't comprehend why not having one is the end of the world,
we don't even HAVE a disposal in my house.
or one man who told me he'd been without hot water for a week,
and had no clean dishes to use because they are all stacked up and dirty
and cannot be washed until he gets hot water.
??? LAZY.
it's called detergent, a rag, water, and your hands...get to work buddy! 


i understand that in this country people are used to living with more luxuries than most.
we are blessed.
but the whole I NEED IT NOW mentality...i cannot stand it.
instant gratification. too many people are diseased with it.
it's always BIGGER or BETTER and comparing...
we see something, we want it, we get it...who cares if you can afford it.
just swipe a card.
and then we don't appreciate what we have
because there's  ALWAYS something else better we desire.
people think they have to have EVERYTHING..and right at their fingertips.
life would be over if one couldn't make a call, text, google something on the spot, or have music, movies, tv and games to entertain them if get they stuck waiting somewhere.
patience is a virtue few possess these days.
so is simplicity.
and moderation.

words of the english author, Aldous Huxley:
Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted.

but i guess people think i'm the weird one.
i don't own a smartphone, honestly i'd rather keep my phone off most days.
i don't own my own laptop. or my own car.
and my ipod is first generation, people call it a dinosaur.
i don't even have cable. tv is not a priority to me.
though i do like this season of american idol :)
i will never pay top dollar for name brand anything...and i love thrift stores.
as a result...i'm pleased to have a growing savings account.

you know...maybe one day we'll have a flood or natural disaster like japan.
and then people will realize how unimportant all this stuff is.

i would like to think that with this economy, people would be a bit more wise.

anyway...i think i'm done with today's rant.

I've started wearing flip flops again.
and all the blossoms and breeze make each day beautiful.
the pollen count is outrageous, but i don't have allergies, what a blessing!
love the weather.

mom is on her new medication and is feeling 100% great.
having to drive her around is a blessing because we spend more time together.
dacy finds out soon-ish if she's having a boy or girl :)
cinnamon's husband, paul, is getting used to his new job in afghanistan.
i believe he's been there 2 months now.

i still miss kevin more than ever.
i kind of always feel like i'm half missing. i think that's why i'm so hermit-ish.
but i'm a strong believer that everything has it's purpose and timing.
good things
are worth working and waiting for. 

my week's notes to self:
1. put yourself in other people's shoes
2. start conversations with strangers
3. gossip less. it's dirty.
4. be grateful. show it.
5. the most important history in the world is the history of the church.


i did remember to wear green, thank you.


at work i get Wednesday off if i work the weekend.
and i worked this last weekend
so... i enjoyed my free day yesterday!

with her new "illness" or whatever it is, mom is not allowed to drive
so i spent the day taking her out places she wanted to go.
i feel bad she doesn't have the option to leave the house anymore whenever she wants.
she LOVES half-off wednesdays at salvation army...
haha...if you know how to look, you can find GREAT deals on good stuff.
after our "thrifting" - we went out to lunch: chinese and sushi and MMMMM!

then mom had her appointment at the neurologist...
her CAT scans came back normal, but one test they did, did not
it showed abnormal activity in her brain which confirmed her "episodes"
as seizures.
they don't know what CAUSES seizures, just some electrical brain shock that happens.
the Dr. prescribed a medication for her to see if it helps.
she is to take that and report back in 10 days how it's going.
she is still not allowed to drive for 6 months...
(if in 6 months she has not had more seizures, she'll be allowed to drive)
that's the hardest part for her.
we're grateful nothing showed up worse.

later we stopped by wal-mart to pick up her meds.
and hit up a furniture place she wanted to browse.

i had myLAST final exam last night too.
HOOrah for being done with my classes for the semester!

kevin was supposed to take his english test yesterday.
the building's internet was down and they couldn't do it.
needless to say, kevin was VERY UPSET.
this is probably the 3rd time his test has been's always SOMEthing.
l a m e.
he needs to take it by the end of march for his byu application.

spring is in the air...i feel like everyone is having babies.


who do you admire?

1. i admire those, who when having a bad day, don't make everyone around them feel it too.

2. i admire those who never use the word "hate". who invented that word anyways? it's a dark word. and never necessary.

3. i admire those who are a friend to everybody. ie: not just to those who look like they shop at urban outfitters, or listen to the same bands, or are pretty, or would higher YOUR social "status" by being associated with them.

4.i admire those who do not complain. regardless of their circumstances. they do not pity themselves.

 5. i admire those who don't have to lose all their material possessions in a flood or fire to realize just how temporary they really are...and that happiness or identity is not defined by what we OWN.

6. i admire those who aren't too proud to admit when they're wrong.

7.  i admire those who would know how to live without their cellphone if it broke today and would not act as though their world was over.

8. i admire those with integrity. they are honest and true to what they stand for and what's right if they are alone or if the whole world is watching.

9. i admire those with an open mind. those who are willing to see things from another's point of view.

10. i admire dreamers who make it happen. people who set goals and work for what they want to become or have or do.

11. i admire people who aren't afraid to ask for help.

( after making this...i will also have it be a list of things i, personally, strive to do and be. )

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

thank you to those who have expressed concern and kept my mom and our family in your
thoughts and prayers.
after various tests at the hospital,
the neurologist said they found some "abnormalities" in her brain.
they have not stated what exactly is happening,
they'll let us know on wednesday when she has another appointment.
all we're told is that she cannot drive.
today she seems to be her normal self.
thank you again...
we're hoping for the best.

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

p.s. - i was happy to see my least favorite contestant booted off american idol

if you refuse to change,
you have failed.

Panic Anxiety Disorder?

yesterday was a long day of work, class, tests, life.
i hadn't noticed that when i got home my mother was still in her pjs.
then as my dad went to bed he told me,
"make sure Mom goes to bed when you do.
i don't want her wandering around the house."

but i was busy taking a timed psychology test, so i didn't ask.
just said "OK?"

as i'm getting ready for bed, i remember 
and go to my mom to ask about it.

i found out:
that morning my dad found my mom on the floor by her bed.
her head kind of half leaning on her night stand.
she doesn't remember a thing that happened.
spent most of the day asking my dad the same questions.
she couldn't remember anything about the day before either.
and slept all day.
last night she was even asking me about things she should know.
after a bit of review, her memory starts to come back.

i made sure she went to bed when i did.

i'm upstairs in my bathroom
my dad comes home (from seminary) and finds my mom crumpled up
on the floor in the kitchen.
she must have passed out while doing dishes.
she also has a HUGE knot on the back of her head 
...suggesting she hit the cabinets/counter top on the way down.
she's wide eyed.
her pajama pants are wet.
and she keeps saying, "i thought i was feeling better this morning."

we're not sure what's going on with my mom.
about a year ago, when i was in Puerto Rico, the same thing happened.
she would faint, and wake up remembering NOTHING.
on a couple occasions instead of fainting, she would just forget where she was and why.
a complete blank.
it's scary.
she also has these intense panic attacks everyday...
her voice changes, she gets goosebumps, her skin goes blotchy, her pupils dilate, and she usually will start squeezing her arms.
i don't like watching her when it happens...luckily it only last a few seconds.

they've done testing.
examined her brain.
put her on medications.

all they can conclude is that she has

the medication has lessened the panic attacks.
but why would this start happening again?
i've been "googling" all day...
usually the memory loss like she's having isn't a symptom.

it scares me.
worries me about leaving her alone.
what if it happens while she's driving?

luckily my dad works at home.
i feel so bad for her.
she's the energizer bunny type.
always going going going.
and she's a perfectionist.
 i can see her so frustrated and upset.
especially since she can't remember what she's supposed to be doing.
some occasions she'll start crying wondering why she can't remember.

please keep her in your prayers.

BOO america...

i'm writing a paper for my english class
on the negative effects of the media in today's society.

it's something i feel VERY strongly about.

remember when we had the snow/ice storm like a month or so ago?
days stuck at home
naturally, i turned on the tv to pass some time.
my options:
True Life Story: Britney Spears
a talk show with 12 year old girls dressed like prostitutes claiming to be sex addicts
the one girl declared that she wanted to be just like Snookie from Jersey Shore.

now i've never actually SEEN Jersey Shore myself
but i've heard enough about it
and i know Snookie's reputation

i mean, i know "SEX SELLS"
but what cost?
look at what it's doing to society.

pathetic. we live in a pathetically dark world.
with hardly ANY moral standards anymore.

According to the A.C. Nielsen Co., the average American watches more than 4 hours of TV each day (or 28 hours/week, or 2 months of nonstop TV-watching per year). In a 65-year life, that person will have spent 9 years glued to the tube.

---> Number of TV sets in the average U.S. household: 2.24
--->Number of hours per day that TV is on in an average U.S. home:
6 hours, 47 minutes
Percentage of Americans that regularly watch television while eating dinner: 66%
Number of hours of TV watched annually by Americans: 250 billion
Value of that time assuming an average wage of S5/hour: S1.25 trillion

Number of minutes per week that parents spend in meaningful conversation with their children: 3.5   (sad)

Percentage of 4-6 year-olds who, when asked to choose between watching TV and spending time with their fathers, preferred television: 54%

Hours per year the average American youth spends in school: 900 hours
Hours per year the average American youth watches television: 1500 hours 



wow, march.
wasn't it JUST new years?

(side note: right now my mother is singing me the anthem for
Chihuahua, Mexico
which is rather hilarious!)
she's proving her point that although she's losing her memory
and her medication is making her memory WORSE...
today she's asked 4 times if i'm working this weekend...she forgets names and short term stuff
she can still sing EVERY verse of the
mexican national anthem
the one for the state of Chihuahua (where she grew up)

...she's still going...

this week and next are the end of the term for me.
* i have homework assignments
 * a research paper
* a final project in psychology
* and two tests
all weighing on my mind right now
because they're due/on monday.

and here i am on my blog.

i did complete my taxes though!
i made a goal to file them before march.
so i'm a few days behind...
but still feeling accomplished.
i only get a lousy $260 back.
but what can i expect when my parents claim me dependant,
and i only worked 5.5 months in the last year?
i'll count my blessings!

you know, i used to want nothing more than being completely independant.
but boy do i love the perks of living at home!
i have no shame. i will enjoy this while i can.
i have my dad's health insurance.
free rent.
free food.
i can save my money.
and enjoy the company of my parents.

you know, as a teenager,
i couldn't WAIT to be away from home and my parents.
i'd rather be with my friends over my family
but i'm over that.
over the years i've realized that family is more important.
i love my friends,
but i keep re-learning that friends come and go.
some through time, d i s t a n c e, or differences.
sometimes you may even feel you have NO friends...
yet family are the ones that are always there. is forever...
and i love that!

once up on a time i couldn't wait to get away,
but now i'm cherishing this time i have with my parents...
because i know it will probably never happen again.
i also regret the times i treated my family terribly
due to my own personal issues.
i would blame them and avoid them
and be angry
but look who's still my #1 fan
and still loving me to no end...despite it all
my fam!
i love them.
and am grateful to call them mine.

my further news updates:
1. stake conference tonight and tomorrow. rumor has it the "Conyers Stake" will be formed.
changes will be made...sad, but this means the church is still growing growing growing!
2.  i'm no longer in the YSA branch here...back to the home ward, i feel much better there
 3.  next week i'll finish up final exams.
then i think i'll see about getting a second job.
i need to save up as much as i can.
 4. kevin and i have a skype date tomorrow
we take what we can get.

i liked these words of wisdom ...

"All blame is a waste of time.  
No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won't succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy."

-Wayne Dyer-

 “People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are.
I don’t believe in circumstances.
The people who get on in this world are the people who get up
and look for the circumstances they want,
and, if they can’t find them, make them.”

-George Bernard Shaw-

american idol

my mamita has got me hooked watching
american idol
i always thought liv tyler had it good
 because her daddy is
so rad!
and of course...
he's only made the show so much better.
i've loved steven tyler since i was little.
i remember being 7
my sisters would have MTV on
i loved the music video for
Livin on the Edge
or maybe i just remember it so vividly because he was basically naked
and had such a HUGE mouth.
either way.
i liked it.
i even remember doing a powerpoint presentation in middle school on
Joe Perry, the lead guitarist in Aerosmith.

jennifer lopez too.
definite improvement.
american idol has stepped up so many notches with her and steven.

it's getting down to the good talent.
i have my favorites.
 i LOVE paul mcdonald
his voice - style - whole package
how can you NOT love him...

i hope america does not boot him off quick.

Their version of the BEATLES

then this guy, stefano...
i think i like him just because he's so stinkin adorable
and he's not arrogant/vain like some of the others that put off those vibes.

of the ladies,
i like miss Karen Rodriguez.

her and Pia Toscano. great voices.
check out their Beatles duo of
Can't Buy My Love:

i'm not a big tv person.
but, american idol has got me.
Biggest Loser too...heh
my mom and i switch between the two on commercials.
arthur is an inspiration.

only because i mentioned it
i had to look it up...
and here it is
the music video that so many years ago i fell in love with
it's still great!