i was having a
v e r y
the climax of a
very bad streak actually.
an email from a friend today helped me see things a little better.
coming from my dear jeffrey who is living in ghana, africa
and has been for the last year and a half (on his mish)
he reminds me:
(this is after listening to my pathetic perspective and current mood, he has been one of the
few in my life that i tell EVERYTHING to...believe me, there are very few and none of which live anywhere close to me)
brief pause for foto:
me & jeff have shared a lot.
even though i feel i've been a crap-ball to him lately,
he's always a good egg.
and a blessing in my life in so many ways.
"...things can really freakin suck sometimes..(yes, you can already tell this is jeff talking)..even a lot of the time. but look what things are really great in your life right now. you have your parents there to give hugs to whenever you want. you have food....real food. you might not appreciate that one like i do, but, OHH, you have real food. tuna fish sandwich. hamburger. steak. pizza. pasta. anything. that stuff makes me happy when ive got it. dont take it for granted. youve got a job. a steady source of income. income that allows you to progress. to buy new things. clothes. music. gifts. schooling. gas. that provides steadiness and sanity, a source of income. you're in school, it might not be easy and quite stressful....but its progression. its making yourself a better, smarter person. an investment. you're healthy. at least to my knowledge, you're not dying...in fact you're quite busy. and so many other things. even, in may, you will have the temple right there. so that you can practically live in it.
(side note: i had joked that i wish i lived in the temple just so i could have peace in my every day)
basically, you have so so SO much to be happy about whit. too much. its okay to feel bad about things and be overcome by stress. but try and let it pass and remember how much youve been blessed. you might not have everything, but you've got a lot more than most. you have love all around you. you even have kevin. that is reason alone to be happy and stay happy.
i understand where you're coming from and a touch of what your going thru, so these words might not mean much, and im sorry. its all i can do really. "happiness is the object and design of our existence" and if we're not happy, then we need to change and try to be..."
there was more in the email than that.
i only selected an excerpt.
i'm blessed with this friendship.
and i really appreciate his reminder.
especially when i think of him being in africa
and all the people he must see that have MUCH less than me.
or most of us.
not even a tuna fish sandwich!
( i love tuna )
we often take so much for granted.
i feel selfish.
i should be happier than i feel.
thankyou, elder baron.
p.s. - jeff likes to say "fake it to make it" - but my operation "make me happy" is already in sway...
changes will be made.