moving

not sure why, my random impulsive behavior i guess

but i've moved theBLOG over to wordpress

i've also started this PHOTO CHALLENGE:



so, if you'd like,

you may find me there...

my little world of projects and ideas and life

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http://thatgirlwhit.wordpress.com

art of mike stilkey

mikestilkey.com

his 3-D paintings intrigue me

he uses books as his canvas

this one is located inside a Nike/Hurley store

kind of amazing...

 

 neat.

i would love to see an exhibit of his.

music is what feelings sound like

saturday with liz face

after the museum, the weather got rather dreary

the skies cleared up enough that we wandered around the temple

waiting for mal

 mal was taking too long

so lizerbeth and i took it upon ourselves to head to mellow mushroom

our hunger and impatience turned a full plate of pita/hummmus

and pretzels to almost nothing in about a minute

since high school days of mellow mushrooom hump-night trivia,

i've always been a fan of their hummus

how ladies eat pizza

i am a new fan of THE CAESAR!

a good day.

my bedtime reading reminder



july review: the lake, harry potter, and american idol tour

so july is basically over

and

hobby lobby already has christmas set up - that stresses me out

it tells my brain the year is over

and i've yet to figure out my plans for school in 2012

really, i need to figure a lot out.

ANYWAY

...now for my foto-review of recent events:

this is B...and me:

me and b were good friends

back in our byu days

and still are

really, he's one of the few i'm still in touch with

we relate on a lot of things in life

i miss him.

THOUGH

now i'm overly excited

because B is getting MARRiED!!!

to miss kelli lebaron...

they are a perfect match

(i hope she doesn't mind me snagging her foto)

and

they've asked me to be in the wedding

which is perfect

because i wasn't planning on missing it anyway.

so...november 5th is the big day

i already have my flight to Salt Lake

and my dress

purchased.

and can't hardly wait for this reunion

and happy times.

my first time back to utah in

3 1/2 years.

other july events...

THE END CAME

6 hours of Harry Potter

Part I and Part II

we all just left ever more disappointed

that Hogwarts is not real.

my sister, Cinnamon, and her kids were in town

we spent a day at lake lanier

the water made me miss my view of the beaches

in Puerto Rico and Barbados

and how i wished i could live like that forever

right on the water.

i did not document my evening at the Fox Theater in Atlanta

for Fiddler on the Roof,

but i did get something from the

american idol 2011 tour concert!

it was a very fun night

and full of  s t e l l a r  talent

all i had was a lil dinky camera, so the fotos are not up to par...

singing celo green's "forget you"

lauren alaina and her new hit single "like my mother does"

scotty mcreery

i had to capture the ONLY jacob lusk fan in the audience.. HA!

he came on right after james durbin (fotos below)

everybody was up and going wild for james

...and then the disco lights came on

jacob came out...

and only one person was really into it.

james durbin rockin out in the crowd

i thought he did the best

of course, he did sing Muse

and i love Muse.

i wish i had some fotos of stefano langone

he was my crush in the beginning

(paul mcdonald being the other - LOVEhim)

though it seems he's come out of his shell a bit

because he had half his clothes off through his performances!

believe me, no one was complaining.

mine and ryan's happy face

i left craving more live music

too bad there are very few shows coming up

that i'm interested in at least.

we made homemade spaghetti sauce with some of our tomatoes

...we cut up some...

and then mom went out for more to add to it...

and look!

my first sunflower bloomed!

we have quite a few more now.

and bigger

:)

beautiful things

in my general conference april2011 review...

Our beloved President Thomas S. Monson reminds us:

“I testify to you that our promised blessings are beyond measure. Though the storm clouds may gather, though the rains may pour down upon us, our knowledge of the gospel and our love of our Heavenly Father and of our Savior will comfort and sustain us and bring joy to our hearts as we walk uprightly and keep the commandments.

...My beloved brothers and sisters, 

fear not. 

Be of good cheer. 

The future is as bright as your faith.”

i'm not sure who the artist is,

but i LOVE this foto:

check out the

artofdavidwalker.com

he does rad spray paint portraits

like these:

 

and my map obsession

can't get enough of this:

i really don't know what it is with me
and maps.
but i love them!
for years i've always told myself
that one day my house will have a big awesome fancy globe.
i think it's classy. ha!
i guess that interest has evolved into maps.
i've been collecting a few
and have many ideas pending...
now for the execution!

a lot on the mind...

I have a lot of things on my mind. 

That right there very well defines an “understatement”. 

Everybody ought to think, reflect. It’s healthy and quite honestly,

I don’t believe people take enough time to “un-plug” and just think. 

You know, without music in the background or other noise - Just you and your thoughts. Most often those are the moments in which we discover ourselves and resolve to do excellent and daring things. It’s those alone moments when the little whisper makes you feel you can conquer even the world.

Sometimes though, it’s those moments that I hate. 

Thinking is good, when you know how to do it. I will admit - because I know I’m not alone in this - that I’ve had to seek help when it comes to my thought process. You know, weekly visits to a professional who helped me learn how to “think right”. Be happy.  Because quite honestly, more than I like to admit, when I’m alone with my thoughts it can be very self-destructive. To a dysfunctional level. A non-functional level. 

I love to read. Not only because it’s an escape from reality, but because it also gives perspective on reality. Ralph Waldo Emerson, my absolute favorite thinker, said: “There is an optical illusion about every person we meet.” To me, that is reality.  And like the words of my favorite church hymn, “who am I to judge another when I walk imperfectly? In the quiet heart is hidden sorrows that the eye can’t see.” What am I getting at? Not quite sure, but 1 – it makes not feel so crazy and like I’m the only one that doesn’t have my life figured out.  

 2 – don’t judge a book by its cover. Ever. 

And be nice because you don’t know what people are going through. 

 Side note: that is one thing that really gets my blood boiling: judgments. prejudice/racial/cultural/social/at-a-first-glance or whatever judgments without really knowing enough to do so. Where we all get the mentality that we have the right to rank people is beyond me. Yes, circumstances vary… but one person is no better or less than any other, nor do they deserve any better or less, nor are they capable of any less. And I’m not saying I’m not guilty of having judged someone, because I have. We all do it, all the time. In fact, I often kick myself for assuming things before I really knew the truth. But, the point is, we almost never know everything that lies behind the “optical illusion” of each person.

As I stated before, I don’t really know where I’m going with all of this.

I just have a lot on my mind.

Very closely linked to my way of thinking is the fact that I’m indecisive. Or more I have a fear of making decisions - A fear that I’m going to really screw things up and that the consequences of my decisions will affect many more people than just myself. The cause and effect aspect of decisions is a truth, but in my head, I have myself convinced that all I do is make mistakes. I know it’s wrong to think that way, but I can’t help it. My mom once told me that the only smart decision I’ve made in my life was to serve a mission. I’m sure she would take the statement back if she really knew how much those kinds of things stick with me. But i’ve grown up feeling like I have to be perfect and that I’m a disappointment – maybe that wasn’t the intent, but somehow it’s what’s engrained in my head. I do realize perfection is unrealistic and that comparing oneself to perfection is an automatic set-up for feeling like a failure. But as far as my decisions go, I feel that my life timetable was pre-planned…pre-plotted out about what I was to accomplish and how and by when …and somehow I’ve managed to ruin every aspect of that plan. Failure by design. I really don’t know what’s wrong with me. Well , I do – I too easily convince myself that I suck at life and retain that negativity in my head, letting it fester. 

So here I am at 24, still no college degree, not married, full of ideas and aspirations for the future – yet terribly afraid of making any decisions for fear it will be the wrong one. 

At least I’m aware of what my problem is.  

MORAL OF THE STORY – never compare yourself or your life to others. It’s true, we all are so different and will accomplish things at different times of our lives. I do believe everything happens for a reason and each mistake teaches us something and molds us into the person we become. I also know there ARE bad decisions and we CAN become “good for nothing” or “go nowhere” if we don’t learn from them. Remember - Our lives are on the Lord’s timetable. Not the world’s. I think this is why I loathe so much this society that judges people so quick…you know, for not fitting the “ideal mold” of what is “supposed” to happen in our lives and by what age. Before you know it, you become a topic of people’s gossip conversation. I hate gossip. Again, not saying I don’t ever participate in it – but I wish I didn’t. it’s horrible and destructive. I think most of gossip anyway is people trying to feel better about their own messed up lives at the cost of someone else’s.   

Side note: I respect my dad a lot, for I cannot think of one time that he has ever participated in gossip. Not saying he doesn’t hear it all the time, I mean, he’s married to my mother – but he just listens. Information is only shared when absolutely necessary. And he is probably the only person I can think of that literally will not tell anybody something if you ask him not to. I appreciate that.

I’m also very grateful for friends. Besties. You can think out-loud to a true friend – and they will tell you the truth even if it’s not sugar-coated. Because they truly care.

Now usually I’m a very private person. I don’t divulge many of my personal feelings, thoughts, or happenings for the above reasons. It’s no one’s business. But, right now, I’m letting a little out only because it helps me see things clearer and because I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who feels any or all of this.   

  

Be true to yourself. 

Hearts do mend with time. There is never a lost or hopeless cause.

Don’t be a slave to the past. Mistakes are made. 

Learn to forgive – especially yourself – and move forward. 

Things have a tendency to right themselves.  

   

Faith is going forward, not knowing what is going to happen, but trusting. Just go for it.

Today, right now, for the first time is a long time, I know whatever happens,

I’ll be ok. 

7.21.11

for where your treasure is, 

there will your heart be also.

p.s. - fiddler tonight.

a get-away to the FOX

is as good as any.

7.18.11

daily doodle

feelings.

missing someone isn’t about how long it’s been since you’ve seen them
or the amount of time since you talked

it’s about that very moment when you’re doing something

and wishing 

they were right there 

with you.

i have this uncontrollable urge right now

to swim laps.

the sound of silence underwater

accompanied by my thoughts

and my feeling as light as a feather.

everything 

is going to be alright.

maybe not today…

but eventually. 

"i have found the paradox. 

that if you love until it hurts,

there can be no more hurt. 

only more love."

Mother Teresa

the remedy:

pride and prejudice

(i will not admit how many times i've watched this movie)

and re-painting my nails.

 

a lesson i'm learning...